Scenes from My Surrogacies: A Memoir in the Making

I was never one to say to the doctor “put the baby in his mother’s arms immediately, before handing him to me” and I often wonder if this is really selfish of me.

I mean really, these people have waited how long to have a baby and here I am sayingno, give me the baby first!  That feels incredibly rude and insensitive to me, when I think about it.

But a lot of childbirth is not actually thinking about it. It’s doing. It’s reacting. It’s doing what comes naturally when your reflexes kick in.

When that baby is low and engaged in your pelvis and you feel that insane gripping pressure come over your whole belly, the only choice you have is to bear down and push.  To not push is to go against every natural feeling that taken over your body at that very moment.

And once that baby slides out, I have only one reaction – GIVE HIM TO ME. MY BABY.

Holy shit. If I had ever said this while getting my psychological screenings done to become a surrogate mother, surely this would have disqualified me on the spot.